Fridays are for "Fug You"

I think that Fridays are for bitching. My week has been uneventful, for the most part, but I think that there are certain things that need to be addressed every once in a while.

Mainly the list of stupid people that I run into.

Kid on the Diversey Bus:

If you are rapping, loudly, you need to go fuck yourself. Double this if

a) you are white. Score!

b) you are wearing a really stoopid looking fake-fur parka and a belt buckle that lights up to present the message of your choice. I noticed that yours read "Whitey" No shit. Double score!

c)you rhyme "Chi-town" and "my town". You are not dope. You are not "the voice of the mean streets". Dude, considering where I got on the bus, you most likely got on at Diversey and Harlem. Not a rough place.

Kid on the Diversey Bus, shut the fuck up. Forever. You are only embarassing yourself.


Guy who asked me for change in Lakeview.

You are wearing really nice clothes. Your shoes were spotless.

Fuck you.


The lady who needed to talk about 'white people' on the North Avenue Bus (see a pattern?)

I'm right here. I could correct many of your mistaken ideas, but since you seem to know everything about *all* white people, I'll just keep quiet. I'll just say, I'm surprised to find out that all white people :

Don't give correct change in some sort of global conspiracy.
Sell good stereos to each other, and only sell the broken shit to people of color.
Work to keep your son out of a university.

(This was not all...there was much, much more. These were just the highlights)

I mean, how do I have time to knit and have sex with Alan, what with oppressing you?

Lady on the Bus, shut the fuck up. Perhaps the fact that you've devoted all this time to conspiracy plots ment that you perhaps put your son's edumacation on the back burner?

My boss(es). Just in general, 'cause if you didn't do something to piss me off by friday, you'll sure as hell do something this weekend. Don't even pretend.

The emoliscious duo. If, you have a new apartment, and you have a car between the two of you, and you have a couple of days off, get your shit outta my house. It's almost a week since you dissappeared into the night. No call? No "Hey, we're thinking that on X day we'll be over to take some stuff, return the key, ect?"

Rude. Unacceptable.

Get your rotting food out of my refrigerator. Get your half-eaten crackers off my counter. Get your shoes out of my entry way...or, at least give me time frame. Cause, see I want the molding coffee cup that's in the bedroom back in the kitchen, and since the guest room belongs to you, and I don't want to invade your privacy (or, wade through the three feet of shit that is piled all over that room), I can't have it until you tie up loose ends.

Even when I was your age, I was soooooooo much more responsible. See, when I left my room a complete and utter mess, I was paying rent. Then, my mess was paid for. My roomates couldn't say shit about it. There's the rub.


So, emo kids, get your shit together. You are both nice kids. I still think you are both nice, smart funny kids, but I think you lied when you said you were clean and neat. Totally lied.

Fridays are soooooo for Fug You

See, I'm old. I'm uptight. I have issues.