Abortion in Yarn

So uh, yeah...what did I knit in the few short months that my obsession has started?
Let's see...in order of knitting.

Keyhole scarf and matching hat for my mom (still not sent), and frankly, they are so ugly, that they might not be sent. See, this was my very first thing I knit, and I did fall into the trap of novelty yarn.

I sorta hate these things, and, frankly, think that I can do much, much better now.

Lesson Learned? Novelty yarn is not my friend.

Stripy scarf for my husband (the sexiest evolutionary biologist at UIC). Though the quality of the finished product (weave in ends? Huh? Whatever, I'll just knot these bad boys.) leaves something to be desired, he loves it, and wears it all the time. So, it's not that bad, is it?

Lesson Learned? My husband Rocks.

Big-ass furry fucking poncho-thing. Uh, yeah, I didn't really understand about gauge yet, so I just picked the biggest, chunky angora I could, then used a strand of mohair. Then just knitted away on size fifteen needles.

Does it shed? Like a Persian cat in July, baby. Uh yeah, and it was huge, and so I felted it. Uh, now it looks like something any old caveman would just casually toss on to go kill a mamoth.
I do wear it though, since the house in the ghetto gets cold, since it has no insulation, and that makes it chilly.

Lesson Learned? Gauge swatches are your friend. Use them. Also furry yarn sheds like a motherfucker.

Cleaves, from knitty.com

Okay, so the gauge thing sunk in. And, I bought beautiful Manos to make it with, and I really like the sleeves part, it's just that the cowl is really freakin' big, and I don't think the pattern really was well thought out, and I am now thinking that it's time to frog the cowl, re-size the cowl part, and re-knit it.

Lesson learned? If the model for something is standing all weird and twisty, think twice.

Mittens for Dan.

No pattern, just me thinking that I could do it. Bad. Bad. Me need pattern, and DPN's. They are an abortion in yarn. I am re-making them.

Lesson Learned? Directions and patterns are not the enemy.

Purse for Telina. Pretty, little, felted. Cute. No pattern, but I Understand the concept of the felted purse, and can sorta just get along. Not sent yet, 'cause of the abortion in yarn, and Dan and Telina live together like Dirty Hippies in a RV with tons of cats.

Lesson Learned? Felted purses are sooooo freakin' easy.

Scarf for Little Hateful. Feather and Fan lace pattern. Good yarn. Soft merino. Soft as a high-priced hooker's ass. Light blue. It turned out better than I could ever imagine. She loves it. I loved it. Her mom even liked it. Wow.

Lesson Learned? If you think very carefully about what you are about to knit, and the moon is in just the right place, and those voodoo candles you light aren't a scam, things will all work out.

The Lorna's Laces scarf. I bought worsted yarn, which I thought was very cute. I was going to knit a very cute little vest from Loop-D-Loop (yes, Teva, I bought your freakin' book).
Uh, except the nice lady at the yarn store totally lied to me when she said that the mohair and the Laces looked cute together. Totally lied. 'Cause when I knitted a swatch (see gauge lesson, above) they looked like shit together. So then I thought, scarf, and I'll do the feather and fan thing, 'cause that's cute, but now that I'm, like three feet into this fucker, I still think that it looks like four pounds of shit in a three pound bag.

Lesson learned?

Cute yarn in skein does not=Cute yarn knitted up.

So, here in the little house in the ghetto, lots of things were learned from knitting.

Oh, and yeah, someday, I'll begin to post pictures.